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The KEY Questions: How do I motivate myself?

29 January 17

If there’s one single ‘problem’ that comes up time and again in consultations with clients, whether in the context of their business or their personal life, it’s this: motivation, or the lack of it. ‘How can I motivate myself?’ is a recurring question, and there’s a genuine longing behind the words, the desire simply to be living a better life, a more fulfilling, happier life. There’s something about the modern world and the pressure that we all feel to perform at optimum levels every day that has a paralysing effect on our collective mind. Whatever tasks we’re confronted with at work, whatever targets we are set, or set ourselves, it always seems we could be doing better, doing more, going that extra mile. Likewise at home we often find ourselves beset by doubts. Am I a good parent? Could I be a better husband or wife? Am I fulfilling my responsibilities? And what about that lifelong dream I was supposed to fulfil? If the answer to any of the questions comes back negative, those doubts too often turn to frustration, the frustration to anger, and the anger to depression, resulting in lethargy and a general lack of motivation.

 

It’s very easy in these circumstances to blame ‘the world’ for creating the feeling of helplessness. It can seem like a no-brainer that outside forces are conspiring to hold us back. Everywhere we look there are obstacles to happiness. If only we could win that promotion then, we feel sure, things would rapidly improve. If only we could get the cash together to start that business. If only we could find someone to love, someone who really understands.

 

If only. We human beings do the most extraordinary things to try to overcome what we perceive as our difficulties. We gamble precious income on the lottery, swapping jobs in the hope of a new start, any start. We up sticks and move to a different country, hoping the change of scenery will turn our lives around. Some of us, finding ourselves with the wrong life partner, decide to have a child (or another child) with that person, thinking that this will somehow refresh the tired marriage. And when the lottery ticket fails to make us millionaires, the new job is just like the old job, the new country is the same as the old country, (only hotter as a rule), and the baby’s arrival only compounds the problems inherent in the relationship, we find something or someone else to blame, and the whole vicious cycle starts up again. What’s the answer?

 

Despite all appearances, the world ‘outside’ is not creating the problem. Your thinking is creating the problem.

 

That pressure I’ve been talking about, the pressure that we all feel to perform, isn’t real. Believe me, I know how hard that is to grasp, but Carl Gustav Jung, the eminent psychologist and Freud’s contemporary, was 100% right when he said that ‘Perception is Projection’. In other words ‘thinking makes it real’. Does this mean that there is no physical reality, that the entire world is an illusion? Some people think so, but believing it doesn’t really solve anything. What we need to understand is that events occurring in the world outside of us are entirely neutral. They have no power over us, beyond what we give to them through thought. It is not the events that are creating the negative feelings but our perception of them, the feelings that we attach to our thinking about those events.

 

Small children don’t need motivating. Their natural curiosity about the world ensures that they will play happily for hours with a new toy, (or, failing that, with the box that it came in). Everything is fascinating to them, and as adults we too often bemoan the fact that we have lost that innocent capacity for finding joy in the simplest of activities. Sometimes, feeling overburdened with my own responsibilities, I have felt that way myself. But it’s not true. That sense of wonder is still a part of me, and it’s in you too. It can never leave you, it is consciousness, the gift of being alive. These days when people talk to me about their lack of motivation I see the truth beyond those words. The thought comes first: ‘I don’t feel motivated’. But it’s an abstract thought, a nonsense. How do I know? Because when we are motivated, when we are fully engaged with living, there is no thinking involved. Never in your life have you said to yourself, in the middle of some activity that you thoroughly enjoy, ‘I am so motivated!

 

Carl Jung also said: ‘I am not what happened to me. I am what I choose to become’.

 

What do you choose to become?

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  • Having attended David's course and then had some one to one sessions with him my approach to my life has changed dramatically and improved. David has a very gentle and empathic way about him, yet managed to challenge my habitual way of being and thinking. As a result of our time together I now practice his "way of being" and I truly find that I am getting far better results in all of the relationships that I encounter. My inner chatter is under control, most of the time, and I am learning to pause and push away harmful thinking . It's surprising how habitual thinking can do so much damage and how, once you really focus on what comes into your mind you start to realise that you can be bigger than your random thoughts. So David thank you for putting me on a better pathway. Looking forward to sharing another journey with the Auspicium family!
    Rowena Wild

  • The course I attended with David Key was marvellous, every moment being filled with joy and laughter. David has a unique talent to teach, unlocking the full potential of every person he encounters. His course opened up an infinite number of ways for me to get the life I want, right now, today, and in the future. It made me realise that thought is fluid and that I can mould it the way I want to suit my day. I would highly recommend this course to anyone in search of a new professional career or for those who simply want a happier life. Thank You!
    Lucia Pohrebnyak

  • It took me about 5 years of 'dithering' before committing, and in that time I attended several introductory days from various training providers. David's accessible style and the unforced flow of the day is what persuaded me to choose his company. David provides a training model that helps you become your best self - as a student, as a practitioner, as a person. By 'best', I mean more open, less fearful, more confident, less judgemental - whether you attend the course to make a change personally or professionally, to build on existing success, or with no idea where it might go, simply because you are interested (that was me!) you will be impressed at what you are able to achieve with David's expert guidance showing you how to use your curiosity as a pathway to growth. In the first week following the course, I dealt with several potentially difficult situations both at work and home, coming from a changed perspective - resulting in no conflict, calmer colleagues, less stressed family. And this without actively using any techniques; the biggest change has been inside my own headspace. I can't wait to do the next course. Now that I know, unequivocally, the benefits to be had, I wish I had come down off the fence years ago! Added bonus, a bunch of fabulous new friends. And a final thought about cost; some of you reading this will be struggling to justify spending a chunk of hard earned money "just" for yourself. Well, I will be using these tools every day for the rest of my life - pennies a day investment! I am SO worth it. And so are you!
    Sue Bee

  • I first met David at an evening business club a couple of years ago. During his presentation something “clicked” with me and I felt compelled to further my understanding of NLP. I attended the Auspicium free trial day. My earlier feelings were confirmed. This guy knows what he’s talking about and has a passion for helping people. I duly signed up for the NLP and Hypnotherapy practitioner course. What a week. All in the class left in such high spirits with a very different outlook on life. Following on I have attended the NLP and Hypnotherapy Master Practitioner course. Again excellent. There was something about the Hypnotherapy element of the course that I loved so on to the Hypnotherapy Trainers Training (another absolutely brilliant week). All the courses that I have attended have been very well organised, have a great team of trainers and support volunteers. The documentation is well put together and the exercises are all structured to push yourself to show you have a grasp of the given subject. I now have a fantastic group of new friends who I have a deep link with. We still meet up when we can to catch up on what we are all doing. As of March this year I have been participating in the Auspicium Freedom Project. This is a yearlong “conversation” about the 3 Principles – Mind, Thought and Consciousness. It took me a while to “get” it but now just by “doing nothing” I find myself doing more with better results and no stress. There are no models or techniques to learn. We all have the Principles inside us. We just need to be woken up to how to use them. It’s a great journey that will take the rest of my life. David is a superb trainer and fully deserves all the praise he receives.
    Phillip Warris

  • Before going on David’s Practitioner course, I thought I knew what I wanted, where I was headed and how I was going to get it. All I wanted an additional skill to add to my portfolio. I thought my life was in reasonably good order, nothing that needed fixing. I can sum up my experience of working with David in two words: life-changing. Instead of just learning a new skill, David encouraged us to apply his teaching, our learning, to ourselves. In a very safe environment, I gradually dropped the barriers I had painstakingly built up over a long time. This change happened very quickly and I continued growing as a person, studying 2 more courses with David and joining him on the Freedom project. Why David? He is disarmingly honest, genuine and engaging. He has a very broad knowledge of human behaviour and passes his knowledge on with grace. As a result of working with David, I have changed, and my life has changed. In myself I am very happy and contented person. My marriage is better and stronger. My business plans have taken a different route - one that is exciting and feels very right for me.
    Valerie