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The KEY Questions: What if we ‘backslide?”

25 June 17

What would you consider to be the clearest indicators that a couple’s relationship is in trouble? Would you guess a breakdown in communication, maybe unresolved sexual problems leading to silly rows? The clues might be even more ‘domestic’ in nature. He continues to leave his mark on the toilet seat, despite dire warnings on her part, while she constantly forgets to put the top back on the sauce bottle. Is this the stuff divorces are made of?

How about constant fights and arguments, lasting for hours on end, during which voices are raised, objects are smashed, and the neighbours end up calling the police? That’s more like it, wouldn’t you agree? These two are in desperate need of an intervention.

The story didn’t happen to me, but I have it on good authority, and I can testify to similar scenarios in my own practice. A colleague of mine held a four-day retreat to teach the Three Principles, and how an understanding of them can dramatically improve your life. One of the attendees confessed to having a relationship problem, (actually not so much a problem as a full-scale conflict like the one described above). If this man didn’t find a solution fast it wouldn’t be just his relationship that ended up getting broken but possibly several bones into the bargain.

Over the course of the four days the man’s inner demons (or to put it less dramatically his negative thoughts) began to quieten down. Those nagging doubts and fears that had plagued him gradually fell away as he connected with his innate wisdom. He slowly came to realise that he was creating his own reality through thought. In fact there was nothing in his own or his wife’s psyche that needed fixing, and as for their relationship, it would be fine, (since a ‘relationship’ is not a ‘thing’ remember). All he had to do, in fact, was have a shift in his own consciousness. His partner didn’t even have to hear the message. The insight he was being handed would be enough to get their marriage back on track.

He went back to his wife a changed man, and sure enough hostilities ceased overnight. But a month later he was on the phone demanding his money back. He and his wife had rowed again, and by the sound of it this time it was game over.

Leaving aside for a moment the contractual or legal implications of refunding money for services rendered, did the man have a point? Did this new understanding that he had learned about the nature of our perceptions amount to just another parlour trick, a bit of homely advice to be mulled over then forgotten, the equivalent of a hug and a nice bowl of chicken soup?

His teacher wanted more information. He asked how long the row lasted. “About fifteen minutes”, came the answer. Were voices raised? “Not really”. Were objects thrown across the room and smashed? “No.” Did the neighbours have to call the police to break it up? “Er… no.” This seemed, by any standards, like a marked improvement on before, yet the man persisted in feeling that divorce proceedings must be underway. In fact they weren’t, and things between the couple continued to improve over time.

None of us are perfect, in our daily lives or in our relationships. Not long ago my wife Anna and myself were both struck down by a nasty bout of flu at the same time. Now, I’m happy to say that we have a great relationship, one that has only grown over the years since I first began to see the truth of the Principles and teach them myself. On this occasion however, we happened to be lying in bed long after it was time for one of us to get up and feed our kids. An argument brew up over who had the highest temperature, the prize for the ‘winner’ being the right to lie in. (Needless to say I ‘lost’). Later on I felt bad and apologised for the ‘row’, but Anna didn’t see it that way. She didn’t remember either of us getting cross.

The truth is that when we achieve a higher state of consciousness and a petty conflict arises, it only seems as if we’ve fallen back to ‘Square One’. The conflict looks far worse than it really is, simply because of the distance we’ve travelled.

(And by the way Anna, if you’re reading this, I was robbed!)

 

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  • Having attended David's course and then had some one to one sessions with him my approach to my life has changed dramatically and improved. David has a very gentle and empathic way about him, yet managed to challenge my habitual way of being and thinking. As a result of our time together I now practice his "way of being" and I truly find that I am getting far better results in all of the relationships that I encounter. My inner chatter is under control, most of the time, and I am learning to pause and push away harmful thinking . It's surprising how habitual thinking can do so much damage and how, once you really focus on what comes into your mind you start to realise that you can be bigger than your random thoughts. So David thank you for putting me on a better pathway. Looking forward to sharing another journey with the Auspicium family!
    Rowena Wild

  • The course I attended with David Key was marvellous, every moment being filled with joy and laughter. David has a unique talent to teach, unlocking the full potential of every person he encounters. His course opened up an infinite number of ways for me to get the life I want, right now, today, and in the future. It made me realise that thought is fluid and that I can mould it the way I want to suit my day. I would highly recommend this course to anyone in search of a new professional career or for those who simply want a happier life. Thank You!
    Lucia Pohrebnyak

  • It took me about 5 years of 'dithering' before committing, and in that time I attended several introductory days from various training providers. David's accessible style and the unforced flow of the day is what persuaded me to choose his company. David provides a training model that helps you become your best self - as a student, as a practitioner, as a person. By 'best', I mean more open, less fearful, more confident, less judgemental - whether you attend the course to make a change personally or professionally, to build on existing success, or with no idea where it might go, simply because you are interested (that was me!) you will be impressed at what you are able to achieve with David's expert guidance showing you how to use your curiosity as a pathway to growth. In the first week following the course, I dealt with several potentially difficult situations both at work and home, coming from a changed perspective - resulting in no conflict, calmer colleagues, less stressed family. And this without actively using any techniques; the biggest change has been inside my own headspace. I can't wait to do the next course. Now that I know, unequivocally, the benefits to be had, I wish I had come down off the fence years ago! Added bonus, a bunch of fabulous new friends. And a final thought about cost; some of you reading this will be struggling to justify spending a chunk of hard earned money "just" for yourself. Well, I will be using these tools every day for the rest of my life - pennies a day investment! I am SO worth it. And so are you!
    Sue Bee

  • I first met David at an evening business club a couple of years ago. During his presentation something “clicked” with me and I felt compelled to further my understanding of NLP. I attended the Auspicium free trial day. My earlier feelings were confirmed. This guy knows what he’s talking about and has a passion for helping people. I duly signed up for the NLP and Hypnotherapy practitioner course. What a week. All in the class left in such high spirits with a very different outlook on life. Following on I have attended the NLP and Hypnotherapy Master Practitioner course. Again excellent. There was something about the Hypnotherapy element of the course that I loved so on to the Hypnotherapy Trainers Training (another absolutely brilliant week). All the courses that I have attended have been very well organised, have a great team of trainers and support volunteers. The documentation is well put together and the exercises are all structured to push yourself to show you have a grasp of the given subject. I now have a fantastic group of new friends who I have a deep link with. We still meet up when we can to catch up on what we are all doing. As of March this year I have been participating in the Auspicium Freedom Project. This is a yearlong “conversation” about the 3 Principles – Mind, Thought and Consciousness. It took me a while to “get” it but now just by “doing nothing” I find myself doing more with better results and no stress. There are no models or techniques to learn. We all have the Principles inside us. We just need to be woken up to how to use them. It’s a great journey that will take the rest of my life. David is a superb trainer and fully deserves all the praise he receives.
    Phillip Warris

  • Before going on David’s Practitioner course, I thought I knew what I wanted, where I was headed and how I was going to get it. All I wanted an additional skill to add to my portfolio. I thought my life was in reasonably good order, nothing that needed fixing. I can sum up my experience of working with David in two words: life-changing. Instead of just learning a new skill, David encouraged us to apply his teaching, our learning, to ourselves. In a very safe environment, I gradually dropped the barriers I had painstakingly built up over a long time. This change happened very quickly and I continued growing as a person, studying 2 more courses with David and joining him on the Freedom project. Why David? He is disarmingly honest, genuine and engaging. He has a very broad knowledge of human behaviour and passes his knowledge on with grace. As a result of working with David, I have changed, and my life has changed. In myself I am very happy and contented person. My marriage is better and stronger. My business plans have taken a different route - one that is exciting and feels very right for me.
    Valerie